I'm having a crisis!

Okay, not really. But it's still serious.

I'm having trouble accepting the fact that I'm Pansexual. It's like, I keep falling back into old habits, and people still call me a lesbian all the time. The latter aspect I can't help, since I'm a closet Pans. I feel like once I can escape the old views of my high school, life can be better for me and the way I see things.

Anyway, I'm making progress! I checked the "Pansexual" under the Sexual Orientation section on my GSA Activist Form and I actually felt a little prideful, but in a good way. Now all I want is a T-Shirt with a heart and a pan in front of it, for Pride parades! Doesn't that sound like a great idea?

Tonight, I got to learn about my friend, Ira. He is a Transgender male, pre-op. He's one of the most brilliant speakers I know and a big role model in my life. I went on Facebook a few hours ago and looked up his page (because I had to tell him something about somethingblah) and saw he had a Tumblr. I have a Tumblr too and I LOVE it so much, so I checked out his page. That's where I found that he has a Youtube, which made me flip out even more because Youtube is MY LIFE! And then, from that one video on his page, I got to learn of the organisation he and his girlfriend are trying to get moving. The group is called TheCircle, which provides support for people who are trying to become the identity they need to be. They are trying to get binders and packers for FTM's (and makeup kits for MTF's) who don't have the funds to get it themselves.

I had never even thought about this issue. I mean, I've had a Transexual friend for years now, and I never thought about how he felt about it. Mostly because he doesn't talk about it, but still, it's an eye-opening experience. Anyway, I want to help with this movement, because no one should have to feel like an enemy in their own skin. So I donated 50 bucks to TheCircle, because they need T-Shirt money, and I love spending money on people. No really, I love it, just ask KimmehFace.

So I've made a resolution that I'll periodically donate 50 bucks every so often to TheCircle, until I stop working in August. I just made that resolution now, so someone will have to remind me eventually. Any volunteers?

Good Evening!

Hello my wonderful not blog peoples. Seriously, I wouldn't even care if no one read this blog ever. Its the fact that I get to go back and read my crazy thoughts and smile. That's what I just did now. I read all like, five of my posts that I've penned and I felt a little proud of me. I enjoy the way I write (almost as much as I enjoy being a narcissist apparently...) and its also real fun to vent without really venting...If you know what I mean...which you probably don't...

Hai my crazy little munchkins! I've been writing random "deep" lyrics for some reason. I think I've lost my poem edge. I miss my weird, disjointed way of writing poems, and I want to write more soon! I wrote a poem called Matt the Bunny, and I think it might be my best work yet. I don't want to post it anywhere because I want to turn it into a faux-childrens book. Its a faux one because it involves genocide, bazookas, and crazy evil bunnies. I enjoy it greatly and I want to revise it with someone but I don't know who! I don't have a lot of writer friends, but I do have my amazing Girlfriend who is a writer extraordinaire! I'll probably read her the poem when I see her tomorrow. I'm so awesome sometimes, it makes me laugh! (I'm tellin' ya. Narcissism ftw.)

Hey, my wonderful Popdoodles! Speaking of awesome things, my Gay News segment is turning out to be a good decision. I'm getting a lot of people's opinions and I can feel myself become a better impartial journalist. That's something I'll need for when I take Journalism Tech next year. But anyway, Gay News might have the potential to establish its own community. I've invited people to become more involved by sending in news articles and even video responses! I'm super worried about video responses because I don't want bad people to come on and report, but then be suckish about that. But I remain optimistic at the prospect of getting to sit back and edit things together instead of having to speak words all the times!

I'm currently reading John Green's Paper Towns which came out forever ago, but I never picked it up. This is my first John Green novel and certainly not my last. I find his descriptive language and inner dialogue refreshing and just complicated enough to keep me interested. Also, Margo Roth-Spiegelman has the potential to become the most fascinating woman in literature, in my opinion. (And this opinion will only be for the moment, as I haven't even finished the book yet!) John Green and his brother, Hank, are famous Youtubers and I love them dearly and admire the community they have created.

Wow, I dropped the "Hello" thing at the beginning of paragraphs, and I have just noticed that fact. Damn my non-creative brain for being a fail at life! So my brain is aching, and my eyes are burning with exhaustion (I think I used that line in a poem somewhere) so I will leave you now and stop typing. Gnight.

2000s: A Gay Rights Victory?

So, for me personally, I consider these past years to be huge for the Gay acceptance movement. The list of famous people who have come out is a staggering number, to say the least. Oh, you wanna see that list? Well here are the two other blogs that give you pictures and accompanying articles of all the Gay men and Lesbians that have come out in the 2000s (The gay men's article is more of a Gay overview of the past 10 years but still very interesting.)

But what does it all mean? Well I think it means that my optimism levels are through the roof! I don't really have a good memory (at all) but I think that there was this situation in America back in the 80s and 90s where people actually had to worry about getting fired if their boss found out they were gay. AND people were trying to get Gay teachers fired because they might "infect" the children with their "indecent love passion-thingies"!! It's hard to think that this kind of stuff still happens in certain areas (and if you don't think I'm telling you the truth on that one, then you're just plain wrong). I feel lucky every day that I live in such a safe community right now, where I don't have to worry ever about that crap....Well, most of the time...

But the really horrible thing is that we still have sooooooooooooo much to do to get everyone protected. LGBT kids and adults are still being murdered in America because of who they are or what they support. Even people who support the Gay rights movement have been getting murdered as well. And it happens everywhere! Have any of you heard of a boy known as Lawrence "Larry" King? He was a 15 year old teen (not far off from my age) and he was shot to death by another boy that Larry had flirted with. This happened not two counties away from where I am living right now. It's absolutely terrifying sometimes when I think about it enough.

But despite all of that horribleness, I still can keep a positive attitude about the future. The media (and the Government to a certain extent) have mostly accepted Gay people, and that's the thing I hold on to for my future. Sure I can't get married in my state right now, but that doesn't mean it's going to be forever! Movements take time, especially for a group that is as in the gray as you can get. So, for now, I will be patient until it's my turn to start fighting my own rights battles. Until then, I'll just be as pleasant as I can be, in hopes that some random conservative will see me and realize that Gay people are just as normal as the rest of the world.